you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
he was CRYING into my vagina
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
