Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
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Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
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