Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
