we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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