Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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