Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
