We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
