So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize