Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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