matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
