i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Randomize
