she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
