We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
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