butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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