And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize