He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
