Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
