Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
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