That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
