Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
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