Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Randomize
