onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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