"it" just moved
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
