You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
