I'm drive I can fine osifer
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
