pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
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