Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
