I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Randomize
