it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
