If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Randomize
