She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Gay?
German.
Pity.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
