we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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