She is in my trunk
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
