i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
