i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
