it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
