i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Randomize
