Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Randomize
