Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
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