is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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