Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
