This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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