She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
