I CAN MOONWALK!
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
