i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
he was CRYING into my vagina
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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