Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
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