I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
