so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
