He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
