Can Purell be used as lube?
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
