And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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