dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
