why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
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