I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
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