And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
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