I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
