Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
