Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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