I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
