you guys were way drunker than both of me
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
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you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
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well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
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