your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
