My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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