i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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